I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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