i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
