Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize