you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How does it feel to date your dad?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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