I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
me + whiskey = a bad person
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
