Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
