Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
