Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
