It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
