I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
