She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is it penis luge time yet?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
