So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize