There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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