brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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