Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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