Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
