You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
