she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
