my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
