Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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