i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
