And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize