: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
