Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
