I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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