i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize