I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
