We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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