dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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