you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
