The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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