im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need to align my fucking chakras
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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