Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
