Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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