I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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