upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
