Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
