it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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