Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
