i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
