How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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