The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
