Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
