This girl is more easily done than said...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
