Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
