the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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