i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
