Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
