Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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