So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
