if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Found the puke drawer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
