hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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