Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wear drunk well.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
