also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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