How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
