I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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