Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
