Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
