Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
