I need to stop coming to work sober
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
