yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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