never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
