At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.