I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose