I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........