I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We were destined to go to rehab together
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
