my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
