What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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