Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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